This is mine and Heaven’s first persuasive writing. Read it and comment if i persuaded you.
To be successful I will start sentences like this
- For example,
- Added to this,
- If … then
- In others words
- Plus
Copy and paste your draft persuasive writing here.
we am learning to organise my ideas with the support of a provided planning template.
By Rangimarie And Iverson
We believe that we need cameras in our school. Would you like your stuff getting stolen and your kid is not using our hoe, and nothing happening about it? Do you agree or disagree?
We think that we need cameras in our school is because we want our school to be free of theft.. Aren't you just angry when your stuff is stolen don't you just want to catch the thief.When kids come to school they will know that there are cameras monitoring what is happening in the school. For example someone could go to the hooks, take one of the bags and steal stuff out of there bag. Would you want that happening to your children/child.
Another reason why we think that we should have cameras in our school is because kids will not be breaking our Hoe Tikanga . This is because we have an awesome tikanga and the kids who are breaking these tikanga will be caught on camera this is so easier to find the thief. Added to this we should get cameras because kids will behave better and treat others in kinder ways. And for those who do the right thing they will always be rewarded.
In Summary, I believe that we need cameras in our school.
Purely for security purposes and to keep everyone safe.
Surely everyone would want a school that is safe and secure.Let's step up and make our school the best, number one in New Zealand Surely everyone would want a school that is safe and secure
Lets Bring cameras to our school!
Our next steps are: To be independent at using the correct strucutre for persuasive. Have well organised paragraphs with lead sentences and supporting detail. We will also learn about emotive words and phrases and how to use them to support our argument.
Hi Iverson and Rangi, I really enjoyed reading your Persuasive writing, I am very glad that this is what you think our school needs, and yes I to agree that we do need camera's in our school, so that everyone is safe and are using our 12 hoe. I am also happy because you are now learning how to write a Persuasive writing, how awesome is that, for those who are still learning, carry on you will get there. I like to see more post from each of you. Kura Matene
ReplyDeleteHi Iverson, I'm really happy that someone has now remembered about our schools waka values by telling other how you feel about your stuff getting stolen from your bag or desk because I know how it feels and it isn't nice. I agree on what you and Heaven has written in your story I think that we should have cameras at school but I also think that we shouldn't because we are one big happy and safe school. The thing that I liked about your writing was when you were talking about bringing cameras to school and then that may make a huge change to what it is like now. I really loved reading this story. I think that all schools should be a happy and safe not filled with bullies. Ka pai o mahi. Letisha. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Kura,
ReplyDeleteThank you for commenting on my blog. You are right we should all be using our 12 Waka hoe. Keep the good comments up
Kia-ora Letisha,
ReplyDeleteThankyou for commenting on my blog. Maybe you should start doing some Persuasive writings and post them on your blog so I could read them. Blog you later
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